“I am really upfront about being polyamorous on my pages. It does not seem sensible to waste anybody’s time if what they’re searching for is a relationship that is monogamous. Generally speaking, we stick to dating people that are additionally currently looking for relationships that are non-monogamous. Wanting to ‘convert’ visitors to polyamory will be a lot of psychological work and generally speaking an exercise that is futile.” —Morgan

“I had it during my bio [that I’m poly]… I think there tends to be a small amount of a perception whenever you post pictures as being a couple [on a dating profile], that you’re dating as a few. I desired in order to prevent that because we don’t date as a couple of; we date as individuals.” —Thomas

blackfling support

A screenshot shows an interaction that is negative had having a match on Tinder as he discussed being poly. Screenshot provided

When Individuals Are Poly-Negative

“i actually do get, especially guys, whom approach me personally to cheat to their wives simply because they have presumption about my intimate accessibility. They assume that because I’m polyamorous that I will be enthusiastic about cheating. The presumption is hard and thing.” —Heath

“Usually it is things such as, ‘Isn’t your man worried about the conditions you’ve been getting on these internet dating sites?’ Sometimes it is slut-shaming: calling me personally a ‘slut,’ or perhaps a ‘whore’—especially in the event that thing that is first of my digital lips is the fact that I’m poly.” —Stephanie

“I continued a romantic date with a woman who had been apparently pretty interested once we chatted on Tinder. We had [that I was poly] during my profile. She seemed open-minded to it, then again once I really came across her for supper, more or less the date that is entire her challenging the thought of poly and challenging every good reason why i’d be poly. My moms and dads are divorced, that may have show up at some time. She stated something such as, ‘Well, perhaps I’ve simply had an example that is really great my parents are incredibly in love, but i actually do think it is feasible to simply love one individual for your whole life.’ I became like my moms and dads relationship and just how I became mentioned has nothing at all to do with that at all. Recently, a woman asked if i might want to consider venturing out on a night out together sometime. We stated, well, just in case you’re maybe perhaps not okay with this specific, i simply want you to keep yourself updated that i will be polyamorous. She just reacted with, ‘Ugh pass.’ There’s others who are weirdly okay with it. We guess I’ve had plenty experiences that are negative whenever i’ve an optimistic one it is nearly shocking.” —Thomas

“My most common negative experience is males usually presuming i am right down to attach, or that i am just searching for an informal relationship because i’m polyamorous, that isn’t always the situation. In addition, you have individuals who appear interested initially, then disappear when they understand they can not manage non-monogamy.” —Morgan

A screenshot shows another discussion Thomas had on a dating application as he talked about being poly. Screenshot provided

The possibility of Outing

“My spouse, somebody inside her household saw her on Bumble and outed her to her household. Since far so it’s not as likely to happen as myself, I actually live in a different state than most of my family. In terms of might work goes, I really got found [as poly] because one of many dudes at the office saw my wife’s profile and respected her from Facebook. Therefore I quickly figured i would aswell place it on the market considering that the rumor ended up being making the rounds that my spouse ended up being cheating we had been simply in a available relationship. on me—but really” —Thomas