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A bill now pending in Congress would limit fiance visas to couples who have met in person. The current law requires those who enter the United States on a fiance visa to marry a citizen within 90 days, and stay married for 2 years to avoid deportation. But as a practical issue, Mr. Jervis says, such time requirements are ”unenforceable” and mail-order marriage is not a top priority for immigration officials. The men involved often say they prefer what they see as the old-fashioned submissiveness of Asian women to the aggressive independence of their Western counterparts. They are men like Arlie Patterson, who was married three times before he met his Filipino wife, each time to ”spoiled American women,” or Dan Behnen, who was unhappy with the women he met in Cincinnati bars.

Top Tips!

• The act signals both a foreign man’s ability to provide and his generosity, qualities that Filipina women consider highly valuable.
• There are no requirements to marry if one doesn’t wish to marry.
• Virtual connections must eventually be realized in physical space, where real-world politics, money, and bodies intervene.
• Yet even as Filipinas and Westerners face off as equals online, the world of dating exposes the ultimate limitations of the web.
• Chats are regulated and should one person feel threatened or simply lose interest, they can let a moderator know, and the chat will be suspended.

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